Think about this..a story.

You feel great! Your friends and family are happy and healthy. Then you start to feel a little tickle in your throat. You know you’re coming down with a cold, but have the family to run. Unbeknownst to you 10 days ago you grabbed cereal and on it was a germ.

Don’t worry, you’re young and strong. You get over it in a few days. Easy. What’s the issue? Right?

Now your 6 year old grabs the box a cereal. He is looking for a surprise. Then gets in the car, and hangs up his back pack in the foyer. No more schools this year, yay. 8 hours later, the germ is attached to the older sister who is going to the school kitchen that is making food for the elderly.

Let me assure you, no matter who, why, or where this virus started, this is a HORRIFIC virus.

Don’t EVER give up!

Be safe ❤

Shocking and I’m so sorry again!

I see these posts on social media that make me want to use my new rifle.  The coronavirus is Trump’s fault?  We sent protective gear to help them stop a global pandemic? Some of the posts are hilarious, but others seem quite serious.  I put so many laughable posts on my Facebook page to ease tension.   BUT

Do you know how many people own  their own planes? 4600 private jets fly regularly, the commercial airline planes are sitting idle.  I have a thought.

Why cant we use the private aircraft to quarantine families together, and use the commercial airlines to shuttle supplies and personnel?

This is not the time for politics.  This is not the time to sling arrows.  This is the make it or beak it time.  Help in any and every way you can!   Your defining moment!

FIND SOLUTIONS!!!

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I KNOW WE CAN!!

What do YOU DO?

Do you go about as though our humanity is not in crisis, people barely hanging on, or do you get UP? FIGHT!

You all popped in to see me spill the NON family secrets. How entertaining for you. NOW put your money where your mouth is!

I just bought 2000 masks to HELP in the effort of the pandemic. No profit, just to hand to St. Al’s and St. Luke’s.

I’m staying home and trying not to be a part of the problem. The unbelievable HATE against me has been tough, but I won’t fall. I actually hold my head higher and my burden feels lifted.

I hope you make amends!

I hope..

If you want to help I can show you how!

And there it is..Pre-quel

The only person in my family who has ever taken an interest in my blog was Aunt Sherry. I feel compelled to make people understand 2 things. 1) She wasn’t with her wife. 2) Her statement was, “If you weren’t my Sister’s daughter, I’d ask you out.” As a teenager, I saw the other side of it. I was a pre-teen. I already had 3 years of molestation, and I took it as a come on. I did talk to Mom years later and explained why her sister’s presence made me uncomfortable. This is not breaking news.

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The one great thing about my Stepdad is he never came on to me. As I said in the last post, he is a very generous man. Unfortunately, he generously gave away Mom’s money as well. He gambled away her house, didn’t pay taxes for years, lost her savings, manipulated her to move to the hell hole of the country (Springfield, MO), and pushing her still further to live in a condo that his Stepdaughter manages in Orlando. Now, health problems plague them both and farther away they go. Mom has a plan of visiting her family on the west coast, but there’s no way she should be traveling now. IN FACT, they should not be moving now. A virus is sweeping across this country, but again, no concern for the health of Mother. Even without the virus, travel for either of them is risky.

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So, for me in choosing a mate, I had GREAT insight into what makes a great mate! Users, molesters, opportunists, con men, but I thought I could pick out the criminals. Honestly, I became a cliche, and I don’t like it. When you see bad relationships, people hanging on for the worst reasons, listen to the lies over and over, see your mistakes, the patterns, come on people pay attention! Ignorance is not bliss!!!

So I’ve been asked to take the post down. ABSOLUTELY NOT! You don’t like the truth, tough! Charlotte deserves 5 star everywhere she goes! She deserves her son and daughter. The new plan says she can visit 2 times a year. REALLY? This is the deal? When Dad feels well? When Mom feels well? Like it’s all that easy for her to travel? Heck of a deal! Must be nice being around your daughter every day, Mick. I hope she appreciates you! You don’t appreciate yourself and take care of your own health problems, and you have let your wife fall to pieces with no regard. Your Brother, Uncle, Bill, told me to manipulate you to take care of your foot! Like I had the power? HA!

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I will not retract my blog, I will not lie and take them down. I gave the actual quote of Aunt Sherry. Uncle Billy and I talked about opening whorehouses in North Dakota, do the math. I was an adult when he made a pass at me. I am not going to lie and tell you I am innocent! My life is not above reproach, clearly.

Dealing with these 2 families, Harris’ gets the win EVERY TIME! I’m incredibly sorry I ever tried to get Mom and Mickey together. I’m sorry you had to be attached to him for so long. I do understand that once you’ve been with someone who beats the shit out of you, anything is better.

I wish I could walk across the street and see if Aunt Lu LU is ok. Wish I could see Jeff and have dinner with him once in a while. The pain this family has suffered is immeasurable, it seems and yet we forge on. Mouths shut, eyes closed, and deaf to reality is the meal we serve each other each and every day.

What do you know?

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I have readers all of a sudden.  Thank you for taking the time out of your quarantine to stop by, and in such numbers!  WOW!  Perhaps I am interesting.  I prayed long and hard after the tears stopped streaming, calmed my blood pressure, and realized I’m making the one mistake I have spent my life trying to avoid!  I did not accept the things I cannot change.  That flew right out the window!  The strong, independent, and intelligent woman that is my normal facade cracked and fell to pieces over the inevitable disaster.

We face a much larger disaster in this country right now, and I should be strong to all 5 of you that normally read my blog.  I should keep the ghosts in the closet, stand up for my Mother by keeping my mouth shut.  She will do what he wants anyway.  I have no power to change them or change the past.  I should be focusing all my efforts on keeping people’s spirit lifted, helping in anyway I can, and not causing chaos in the 3 families.

Therefore, I will take deep breaths, pray for forgiveness for my vulgarity, apologize to my Dad who is a generous man, friend, and I do love him.  They are both culpable, Mom is an adult after all.  I cannot regret how I feel.  I cannot make the fear for Mom’s health go away.  I think about it everyday as I’m sure it was extremely painful for her not to be able to be with me through cancer.

Now, I will focus my efforts on this coronavirus and make sure that the Boise family I’ve made have everything they need and offer help where I can to my family afar.

I pray for the health of you and your family!  Remain strong and vigilant!  #alonetogether we can beat this!  Stay the F@ck HOME!

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Why do i?

I realize that  writing this was childish, because that is what happens sometimes during a tantrum.   The flood gates open, you are berated by the supporters of imperfect people.   The #metoo movement came and went, but I said nothing.   People who knew expected me to say nothing.

I’m no longer going live in shame. I was a child longing for a Father, and uncle Eric filled the void He touched and caressed me for years.

I just wanted to be loved, and I got it. So there it is, the truth. I had sex with my uncle. I wish I could I take it back. I wish my Father could have protected me. When does a prey become obvious to a predator.? There are no real answers. Uncle Eric has no kids. Nor do I. I can tell you he knows me, my panties , oh, and “only your uncle gets to touch you there”

The difficult part, the guilt that stays forever is that it felt so good.  To be loved, to feel like an adult, taken seriously, then go sit and well, you get it.  The fantasy never goes away.  we will spend our lives together, sail around the world. That feeling of love a girl misses, even the woman wants.

I should have elaborated. I have always wanted my Father back, I tried to bring him back in almost all relationships. I would have killed myself to be with him. I tried, several times.

Needless to say, I should have told you the whole truth. I craved his love and touch.

My Father died in an airplane crash when I was almost 7. I just missed him and wanted a strong man to make me feel safe. I have everything to get him back!

As I sit and cry realizing there was very little concern over his wife. He liked me to go fishing because Mom would approve. I never saw him when I had cancer. His brother has been trying to fuck me for years . Same thing happened in Pennsylvania. What is it about Uncles?

I will try to forgive and pray for peace!

This is how I have felt all my life.