Expectations/Reality



I seem not to fit in with either category of people’s perceptions. I don’t do a thing people expect, and as soon as they pigeon whole me to a normal “person”, I smash the hopes of someone else. Sorry for constantly disrupting the norm, and all the preconceived notions that attach to it like leaches. The blood sucking bastards have never cared for my A+ blood type. Go ahead and waste your cranium debating the nature vs nurture upbringing which spewed me onto the asphalt of adulthood. I’m here, deal with it.





However, every once in while I’m blessed with blow by blow of childhood so vastly different, even I wonder where I was in it’s description. I catch a moment of familiarity as though I had dreampt it just before dawn. The cloud lifts only for a moment, and I’m jolted back into reality. My own reality. I’m in no ones pure picture just a piece that was played on a board. Some remember there childhood play by play. I blocked out so much of it that some recollections are unknown in the realm as reality. I lied a lot as a child, for shear survival, for acceptance, and for fun. Many people thought I was a teacher in high school. I would leave campus at noon for “lunch”, and go to Renaissance Cafe for a double shift, close the restaurant, go to Denny’s to finish homework, back to school for a 7am class all in order to graduate 2 years early and support myself. I had 36 absences in Algebra, and almost didn’t graduate.





I remember sailing on the Chesapeake, playing Scrabble with Father’s parents, playing tennis, but when I say I did those things I don’t recall them. I just know they happened. I know there were battles over the care of my Brother and I, but I can’t remember who actually had “us”. I don’t remember my teacher’s names, saver for one, because ahe challenged me. I hated school until I got to college, but by then I was more adult than child. I was not going to have someone I paid, an employee, tell me when I





did or didnot have to go to class. If I could pass your exam and turn in my papers, why did I need to miss work and not be able to pay rent? The knowledge was marvelous.





I have often said I should have joined the Navy, because I needed discipline. I am head strong, stubborn, and believe there is nothing I cannot do. This is my one way ticket, and I will never be normal try as I might. Sorry!









One thought on “Expectations/Reality

  1. Oh did we have a lot in common as children. We should spend a couple of hours on the phone sometime.
    Your aunt Sherry.
    P.S. I like your writing style. I am very much enjoying your episodes.

    Like

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