Go ahead.. Hate me!!!

I’m nothing! In my life I’ve tried to be a good person, help people, but I’ve hurt people, and made terrible mistakes. Not many, but I have screwed up. and 25 years later I remember not showing up to the Apollo that night. I’ll never forget how horrible I felt for JJ. Little did he know he was in the middle of a horrible situation one dock over. What may surprise you is my lack of regret for my choices. I never set out to hurt anyone, and when I though it might I asked people first. Now, if you wronged me, I’m done making excuses for you. Skeletons don’t belong in closets! That is how domestic abuse, sexual assault, rape, molestation, and child exploitation breeds..in the closet. Like black mold, it festers and destroys the future of unsung hopes and dreams. It also shapes your self esteem.

Let me switch focus though, I am finally coming to grips with the fact that I rank second to Mom. It’s so hard for me, because just when I think I might be important she and Stepdad, make a decision to put my stepsister first. Mom might have tried in the past. If Amber (got a $30,000) education, I got a wedding. I didn’t WANT to get married! I NEVER wanted a wedding! She had to give me the money though, because Amber got her culinary school. Tit for tat. I wish I could give back every stupid dime, because it’s a pay off.

Have fun in the shittiest town in Florida. Might as well live in Anahiem. Mom’s afraid to walk into Walmart alone during the day in Springfield, MO. Congrats on your “safe” choice of Disneyworld tourist land. Mom, Mickey keeps you following around on a leash. He has NO concern for your health; how could he? He doesn’t care about his own!

Mick let you work in that dank dark computer room for years FOR SHIT PAY. He applied for that job behind your back, caused you to lose your home, and had convinced you that Amberland is the greatest place on earth

I HATE the crap you buy into with that selfish shit! The ONLY reason he took me fishing is so you wouldn’t complain about him going! Congat’s Mick, you are the most manipulative man ever, disguised under you compelling argument! You have turned your wife into a sickly follower doing as you bid. When you die, leaving her alone out there, I hope your daughter will help her go to the grocery store.

Keep moving farther and farther away from her Sister’s and children, Amber and the Harris’ win again. We lose.

Don’t worry. I quit. I can’t compete and I’m tired of feeling I have to!

I love you Mom. I will miss you! I pray you are happy! I’m done though.