Been thinking…

…and it’s rolling down my face. I have a few friends that are in horrible places. Facing their worst fears and nightmares. I’m powerless to help. Just writing these few sentences has tears stinging my eyes. I feel selfish and inconsiderate going on vacation right now! Nothing I can do or say can make it better except pray. Suffer in silence as I watch truly AMAZING people go down in different but horrific ways.

Every time I turn around more devastating news filters in and I too face a precarious future. Why, I know we all ask at one time or another, does such terrible things happen to great people? I know why they are in my path, goading me towards a path WAY LESS traveled by, but is it really necessary for these wonderful people to suffer? For the love of all that is holy..WHY? To make matters worse I can’t help! They won’t let me!

“Why is it the people who need the most help won’t take it?” I’m paraphrasing Jessie’s line in A River Runs Through It. Maybe I can’t help but I could be there, and that has to be better than dying alone!

My heart just goes on day after day tearing apart for so many of my friends and family. I wonder how I’m going to hide my puffy eyes ? There’s an app for it so all others see is my happy little life with my little problems. In the meantime other people demand time they don’t need and I don’t have to give. I’ve become selfish with my time and why not? It’s the only commodity I can’t get back! Yet I would gladly give it if I could help in anyway! Frivolity seems wrong somehow.

Now I sit back and know these people are headed for the long nap in agony and my heart cracks more each day. Tear drops rolling down my face on a plane headed to Puerto Vallarta. The sea will hide the tears the sun doesn’t dry away.

To the ocean I go for her healing, calm, and strength. I take for she seems to always have more to give. I pray to ease our pain and anguish. I hope this prayer gets answered!

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