Ever present need..

I was one of those who followed blindly but needed someone to kick my butt, in the right way. When Aunt Lynda was on her 7th cancer diagnosis if I recall correctly, I begged her to get a second opinion. My plea fell on deaf ears even though I pushed harder the last 2 and final times. She had accepted her fate, RIGHTFULLY so! For ten years, 9 cancers, and NO pain meds (she was afraid to become an addict =(. I needed me to kick my butt. Cancer treatment is subjective and I didn’t head my own advice leaving a plethora of disasters in its wake. Cancer itself comes with a huge cross. I feel bad when I don’t get in the groups and try to help people struggling with feeding tubes, thrush, radiation ulcers. Then I try to touch base with the aneurysm survivors to offer assistance there. I’m not perfect and I never will be. I have days that I can’t bare to think about my medical horrors so I won’t respond. Of course I feel bad and have overcompensate.

Giving and being selfish has always been a struggle, but now my short term memory is unpredictable, like my health. Life’s a bitch isn’t it?

Crossroads

In 2014 I started working as a night bail bondsman. Getting people out of jail was new, but all in all I believe there’s justice as long as the accused goes to court. Turned out I was good at it. Calming people down who were facing what appeared to be the end of the world. Probably because I had felt their pain. I gave a balance of compassion and tough love. My boss told me that 50% of the calls in the office were for me.

The problem was I wanted to work for a better company, but opportunities never came up. Employees stayed for 30 plus years.

In 2016, I quit writing bonds and started Andy’s Animals a pet sitting service. I had a great little company filled with almost a hundred dogs a year, number one on Rover.com and featured on the news. Ultimately I hoped that a position would open at the bail company I coveted and I would put in my 20 and retire. I LOVE helping people and as a night owl, bail bonds is a great fit. BUT..

It’s a BIG BUT, it’s 2021 and the company now has an opening. I have spent the last 2 years and all my resources building wonderful companies. They finally got reimagined after the covid disaster, and are ready to fly.

My business coach says, “Don’t quit 5 minutes before the miracle.” My bank account says go get the paycheck.

I believe in my heart and soul I can help people far better as an entrepreneur!

I have been torn for a month, until I wrote that! Asked and answered!

Ignorance..

The new administration is going to raise taxes on the rich to pay for new building infrastructure 2 trillion dollar plan. Biden plans to raise taxes on the rich…lmao!

The rich use the tax code to thier advantage, you can too BTW, but they aren’t stupid. If you make it cost effective to keep production in the USA, the businesses will stay..PERIOD!

When I worked on yachts, I remember, because I had to go from Balboa to Cabo, all of them had to leave the USA for 3 months to avoid luxury tax. Anyone who wants to stop paying taxes can, if they find a good accountant, learn how.

Now, I totally believe we need infrastructure upgrades. No doubt! I drove the I-5 20 years ago and it was a joke. What a blessed pivot to the pandemic, 10% unemployment, and 33% small business bankruptcy nationwide? Surely new roads will help the homeless..more bridges to sleep under.

Go ahead and make minimum wage $15. Innovators will cut those jobs with A.I. because business owners need to make a profit too. Are you aware we have bills to pay? Can you imagine waking up knowing you had $5000 payroll that day and had $1000 house payment then saw $50 in your account? Luckily I got a $1400 stimulus check..gee life is beautiful! I feel fabulous because I can pay the mortgage once. Now I don’t like to feel bad and fire/lay off people so I will find a way around it. Businesses have and ARE, look at Amazon. How long did they go without paying taxes?

Going the wrong way is all I can say! Offer Elon a government contract to develop a transportation system! Don’t TRY to take his money because you think you know better by sitting your ass in a taxpayer seat for 47 years THINKING IT made you smart!! DON’T THINK!

Cursed…

Somedays I feel as though I am. Yesterday, my hat designer said she would beak her ankle if she wore heels like mine and I fell later in the day .

Ouch, and I’m flying to Florida to hang with Mom at the pool.

Then I was talking with a friend and both of us being tall with long legs we always fly first class. I went on to say that I also like the absence of children. He said that the last few flights he was on with his wife there were kids in first. Now I’m on a 4 hour flight with a child kicking the back of my chair. How can the Mom just let it bang on the back of my seat?

Fortunately, I had the seat open next to me. Just feeling jinxed and waiting for the third catastrophe to hit. Then it hit me..

I’m on the other side of 45, cancer survivor, CEO of 7 companies, and STILL trying to please Mom like a little girl. Worried about my acceptance, terrified of her critism, and I know it’s coming. I wish I had Wonder Woman bracelets that could repel all critiques but ultimately I will be reduced to the child wanting validation. I don’t know why, after all these years it’s still important to me and why I can’t push past it.

My Brother and I have this independent entrepreneurial spirit. His company is not a job, it’s a life! I’ve had companies before but teaching baton, taking people fishing, modeling agency harldy fall under his publicly traded company. Now I have companies with value, product, and validity.

Getting closer

I’m on a track to success. Of course this started 2 years ago after the barrage of health issues, one year of covid, and repositioning my companies. However a flaw will emerge, a critique, I’ve heard them all and try to hold my reaction to a “thank you for pointing it out” response.

Mom knows best and she’s right most of the time. Let’s face it, I’m not perfect. Picking flaws out in others is simple. While I resist Mom’s insight I ultimately work on the areas she deems insufficient.

She lives in Florida, I live in Idaho. Much as I bitch that they move farther away. So, here I am again praying she’s healthy and improving with warm waters!

Here I go

Hopefully this will be a stress reduced trip filled with love and happiness!

Idiocy

So, as per rules and regulations …
I do my best to follow the mandates made up by idiots.
I wear my mask, don’t walk around with anything illegal, hide anything in my shoes, I’m TSA precheck but sometimes no matter how hard I try the universe says “sorry, gonna fuck you today.”
I got chosen for a random screening, take off your coat, tsa pulled out computer, check every pocket, why did I pay all this extra money?
Get to the gate, turn around to get a cup of coffee, the guy won’t sell it to me because of my mask.  He doesn’t say, “Do you have a medical condition?”
Just straight up, “Can’t sell you anything with the mask you have on.”
Well the TSA had no problem opening my bag, letting me in the airport, just after dropping my  panties on the floor. So the coffee covidiot can berate me, hold up the line, (just kidding, I was the only person there) and announce my criminal mask.
I wanted to scream, “Mouth CANCER!!!”
“You’re lucky 10 people aren’t scared to fly so you can still get a paycheck moron!”
Literally empty airport,  10 people on the plane today. There was 10 people on the way down too.
It’s sad to see airports abandoned, once full parking lots completely empty, planes operating at a huge loss, and fear in the eyes of a 20 year old idiota barrista.
Finally on the plane, 7am, time to go HOME!
Perhaps I will find sanity there?

Only the dead have seen the end of war…

Thank you Plato for ringing in the new century with poignant philosophy.   I’m sad bringing in the New Year.  The world is in great peril, the economy in position to freefall, and people again divided to the point of violence and hate continues to grow.  Billionaires are buying the political system leaving only a handful of equals on the board..  Those players aren’t competitors but dominator equals.  Until the war comes.

Trump wasn’t just a President,  but a bucking/overthrow of the system.  Republicans that value small government saw the overreach of Democrat lead government and destruction of free market with Obama care.  The insurance companies crashed and the people were left without good Healthcare.

Years prior I voted for Ross Perot.  I know in my heart that a man who works for his success is far better to lead than a servant scraping up scraps to the tune of MILLIONS!

I’ve watched the Democrats switch from “for the people” (Kennedy) to “fuck the people” (Clinton).

I know D.C. and am fully aware that Trump’s ability to accomplish MONUMENTAL things in just a few years DESTOYED BOTH parties. If not, why not? Obama is so Fabulous because he did 1 thing for the people? Make sure people who couldn’t afford the government plan get FINED for it? SMH

Enjoy the new world order!

Shocker

Nothing surprises me anymore…
Passing along:


Nashville, Tennessee Bombing: AT&T got a contract to do forensic audit on Dominion voting machines and those machines were being moved to Nashville this past week.
The former owner of the AT&T building in Nashville, William Kennard, is a board member for Cerberus Capital Management and AT&T…. He also was Bill Clinton’s FCC chair, and Obama’s Ambassador to the EU.
Dominion voting is owned by Cerberus Capital Management…. Cerberus is run by Staple Street Execs. Joe Bidens Brother in Law, Steven Owens, is the cofounder of Staple Street Execs along with William Kennard (mentioned above).
Super Computer in TN was connected to the AT&T internet in Nashville and Thursday evening, the Cumberland river cooling system was compromised due to internet outage and the supercomputer fried…..
If you don’t know, “Kraken” is a reference to a supercomputer former prosecuter, Sidney Powell, was talking about.


So, the explosion “just happened” to be at the AT&T location where they control the cooling system for the super computer and house the dominion voting machines and drives for forensic audit…
Does it make sense now why no lives were lost? Does it make sense now why the FBI task lead couldn’t even put together a coherent sentence in the press conference yesterday? Does it make sense why the mayor was making light of the situation, almost laughing yesterday?

I watched..

I was told not to tell, but that is not community to me. Living in our triumphs, lives and eventually death is PARAMOUNT!! The legacy we leave behind is especially important because it shows young people that actions are appreciated! They matter!

Jim Rhodes was a contractor for the State of Idaho and built the water system in Boise. Why won’t people celebrate this wonderful man? I did! I had him walk me down the isle. I tried to be there every holiday. I honestly hope Mom and Dad know that I love them. They deserve love from everyone because that is what they gave!

My cup runneth over..

Rest in peace Dad. I think you lead an amazing life and will miss you! Thank you Dad!

Father-in-law walking me down the aisle

Sorry readers…

I love you, and sorry for the last post. It wasn’t ready and I meant to save as a draft.

Before covid, 80 percent of all pharmaceutical sales were mood stabilizers. I wonder what it is now? People are losing their companies, unable to keep the roof over their head, can’t pay bills, and committing suicide because a virus that kills .01 percent of it’s victims has destroyed over 10 percent of people’s lives. I wonder how many people are on mood stabilizers now? My Doctor has tried to throw them at me. No thanks!

It’s ok to have feelings! We live in depressing times. Our country is falling apart, the divide is deepening, hope is fading, and let me assure you I know what it’s like to lose people this year. We are being trained how to feel, told not to feel, and given medicine to numb us into submission. Fear is fed to us in the form of statistics, numbers EVERY day!!!

2 people in this photo died 2020

There’s anger, pain, and suffering while the government stalls on giving assistance yet shutting down small business. MEANWHILE superstores are packed! They handed us $1200 of our OWN money and expected us to be ok for 9 months! Bill collectors are banging on doors as big brother closes us down AGAIN!!!

Remembering better times

Last night protesters went to the homes of the board members to protest the new shutdown orders. It made national news! The uprising has begun. The safe space you needed when Hilary wasn’t elected was given to you on a silver platter by covid. CLEARLY you didn’t like that either. Wanted to be a stay at home Mom so bad? You got it! Nope, didn’t like that either.

Start questioning WHY you have anxiety and look for solutions! Can’t open your business? Get a group together and protest! Write your elected officials! Stop reacting and ACT! Get your ass off the couch, CANCEL Netflix, throw your pills away, and STOP being lazy about your life!

Goodnight

NO WAY!!

Yes my dear friends there’s no way to be something you’re not! You can play a part but living a lie only lasts so long unless you’re a sociopath. Sociopath GO AWAY!! Thank you.

Normal people welcome back. You can’t have a person who knows and loves you like a movie, (Pretty Woman). it happens all the time in Hollywood because they spend half of the time acting/ believing they are in love with someone else. I don’t understand why anyone thinks what the see on film is real.

I’ve seen living relationships that were so beautiful I cried and was lucky to see it’s light.

When you see it, really see it, you don’t covet. All I could think about is it’s beauty. Unfortunately I am in the minority.

So I say…STOP HATE! Only YOU can chose the path of peace!