Turn the page..

Just as I was giving up on the month, there were the women to lift and inspire me to keep going on the basic level. In April it will be a year since I found ewomennetwork on Facebook. I joined 2 months later.

I’ve met the most gracious women, and tried to help where I could. Yesterday I had a quick lunch with the Chapter leader, Ari Carlson, (no coincidences), and she helped narrow down what my non profit can do to help NOW! I’m incredibly grateful to her.

Then today, WOW, what an AWESOME gathering of many accomplished women who all gather together in order to help, inspire, and collaborate success.

I have personally found my CPA Kristi, my bra lady Lisa, and so many more entrepreneurs including wine, clothing, mortgages, reality, travel, heating and cooling, gas station, banks, coaches, mentors, diet, exercise, gym, there’s no limit to who we are and how we can help one another 🙏🤗❤😍😘💪👠💄👛👜.

Thank you ewomennetwork for giving me hope, centering me back to my goal, and bringing the right people into my life. The universe called at the right time for more than a few women!!

India might need to be visited!

I’m excited for the future and will never let my health determine my success. I’m excited for next month, but more so, April’s Summit with #sandrayancey

The inspiration she gives, EVERY time I see or hear her fuels my passion beyond all! I never want to quit because of her! I consider myself blessed to be apart of her journey and all of these women’s paths.

FXCK February!

It’s the 15th and I’m OVER it! I’ve lost 3 friends, a fantastic puppy, 3 friends have lost loved ones, and extremely horrible things are happening all around. I have been conflicted beyond maniacal ups and downs.

My epileptic Annie, see you at the bridge!

I got my first brand new car delivered from California and I got my samples for my new skin care line. Troiya.com was born much to my delight! However these AMAZING moments are foreshadowed by death and pain. My WONDERFUL Brother aptly named it the pain train.

BEAUTIFUL 2020 Jeep Cherokee Trailhawk ❤

To start off the month though was the Superbowl. Me, the consummate 49er fan against the world it seemed. All the people in my NFC division jumped ship after losing to the Niners and backed Andy Ried and the Kansas City Chiefs. After the loss I had to agree that they wanted it more. I went on a bus trip to Winnemucca, NV for the game with friends and had a blast!

Of course the halftime show raised.a lit of controversy and debate with half naked women over the age of 40 delivering a risque performance on one of America’s biggest stages. The part that bothered me was Eminem fake slapping J Lo’s ass while she was bent over in front of him. On so many levels I felt that it was going too far. My blog, my opinion.

I’m sad the 49ers lost, but I’m proud of the NFC Champions for turning the team around and finding it’s way! LOVE you! Happy 100th to the NFL!

Great time with GREAT friends!

So with it’s sweets came disastrous loss.

Jan. 29th, close enough

I’m now halfway through the month and things are starting to level out. Somewhat anyway.

I believe that great things are on the horizon. Just after this next hill!

So it seems..

Everything seems to come at a price. I SWEAR I made no deals with the devil, but this week made me think. Does the universe exist on the ying yang system. My week started AMAZING! I couldn’t believe how well my new company came together, LIGHTING speed. Just 5 days, and I’m proud to sell a skin care line. (I’ve been working on it for years) Got the first samples with design in the mail!

My first new products!

I’ve made the website! DEFINITELY have glitches to workout, but don’t have to worry about Amazon destroying my company!

Troiya is live, and I’m thrilled! Then the universe YANGS me! I feel ready, equipped, knowledgeable, team in place, and ready to watch my 49ers play in the Superbowl. Bosa is just named Rookie of the Year!!

Bosa just named Rookie of the Year!

1, 2, 3, people I know die. My heart is crushed. These weren’t men in thier 90s, the oldest was a pillar in my life and passed at 63. No one will tell me what is happening, is his cat ok, rent paid, services? I am cut off from the facts and details that I want to know!

I have a sparkling, brand new 2020 Jeep! OMG! I haven’t had a brand NEW car in 27 years!! I can’t believe my bro bought me this! Words cant express the love and support he’s shown to me!

Brother and Sister Unite!

Ying yang, I know Chris was laid to rest today, and I gave what I could. I feel horrible missing the Celebration of Life tomorrow, but I believe I deserve to be happy that my team is going to the Superbowl. Not like I’m spending 10 thousand dollars to be in Miami.

I wish this week would not have been so hard. I wish our friends were back with us. 200 plus jello shots are fixed for the fun bus. The ying/yang this week gave me whiplash, tears, and joy. Seriously Universe, why can’t you do one at a time? Dick

Feeling guilty for being happy SUCKS! I want to be happy and choose it ALWAYS DELIGHT THRILL

At what price?

The answer to why..

We all have our reasons, and my dear friend Karl would sometimes ask me why? He wanted to know why I never picked him to marry, to be with, obviously to enter into a relationship with. Our bond was strong, and we loved each other very much!

I would point to him and point to me and say “this” because of my love for you! I met you when I was 17, and at the age of 45 I’m still friends with you! Other men, marriages are gone, but you and I are still together. 28 years is more important to me than anything. Unbeknownst to me you and I applied for the same job. You bowed out so I could be the first female deckhand in the fleet. I learned later that you let me have the job. The deck boss Steve O was so mad. “A female deckhand? IMPOSSIBLE, women don’t be long on a fishing boat!!”

Karl knew my love for the sea, he understood my desire to be there!

I lived on my boat for a year and he and I would talk for days about philosophy, laugh..Lord how I loved his laugh. His chest would expand, literally, and belt a rough laugh. He was slow to smile, but everything he did was deliberate. He thought about each move and gesture. Karl was neither left or right, but right or wrong. I can say to this day, I loved him and will always miss him! I have no regrets, but as much ad you wanted more, I wanted forever!

You were important to me and my life! I am going to miss you. My heart is shattered into a million pieces. DAMN IT! I wanted a friend for life instead I got a lifelong friend. I pray you rest in peace my dear! You were epic to me!!!!

Never forget! R.I.P.

I could talk about our time together forever, I know why and I believe I was right! Thank you Mondt…

Discrimination.

The how, why, when, where, what..

Is that really important?  I’m here now, so what does it matter?   Pick me up, teach me some local slang, dress me accordingly, and sqeeeeeeze me into that round whole.   Pray I don’t break the character of mediocrity unless in very select environments.  Then pray you aren’t there.  That way I still fit.  Women have been doing it forever, but this wash rinse spin has lost it’s vigor.  Women have marched so far above and beyond that the ONLY limitation is oneself!

I’ll say it again,  the only limitation you have is yourself!  Different people terrify the masses!  The incessant need to label limits everyone.  I still don’t want to use the restroom with men everyday, call me anything you want!  It’s shocking how few don’t wash their hands, and I’m not afraid to segregate on a cleanliness counterpunch.  I beg of you to discount me. Why are the men’s restroom lines so fast? The sinks are there for a reason!  Please wash your ball sweat, urine covered paws!  I don’t want the beer you handed to me at the ballpark with your disgusting digits around my rim.  Just sayin’.

Now back to the original topic,  I’ve been around the block, the country, and a bit of the world.  Who cares?  The substance, the juicy details, do they matter?  We can sit down at the pub and have a great time telling jokes or watching the game.  You don’t NEED my backstory and I don’t need yours.  I’ll go along my way, you yours.  (Probably NOT ’cause I’m going to say something that will make me unforgettable or obnoxious.) 

Whether it is my travels, motorcycle trip, living in different places, working on fishing boats, L.A.S.D., writing, fishing, Idaho, most recently cancer but it will be something I chose to give it up that will memorialize me in your mind. I’ll give you a piece of those details and you will never see me the same again.

Devil is in the details! My experiences make me an original. Why be dull?

Think about it…2020

All of you jumping on the 2020 bandwagon to have your special day, remember, you’re not alone. I’m up to 5 MAJOR events that I must attend, only one of which doesn’t require airfare. I get why, makes it easy to remember, unique, but all of us attendees can’t make every engagement and ultimately your gifts are gonna be weak.

After travel, transportation, hotels, 27 dresses, nails, hair, and gifts you can’t expect YOUR day is going to be the one to stand OUT? A budget must be drawn, itemized, prioritized, and cut. Yours just might be the one to end up on that floor no matter how much we love and care. Can’t possibly afford everything or get that may days off work, and it’s frustrating!

Delicate choices must be made, but ultimately many things may end up whistling the tune of mediocrity. Your venue has been booked, and you must settle for less. Wedding coordinators are stretched so thin they are clamoring for help as are the other service departments short on staff, careful of the poor quality. Then there’s the question of years down the road. If I live 10 more years I’m going to have to budget your anniversary gifts. Not one of my 5 biggies have children to worry about, but I’m still going to have to budget your gifts.

Spread it out people, and you could get more gold! I want everyone to have amazing birthdays, weddings and anniversaries! I wish I could be there for everyone, everytime, but maybe 2021 makes YOUR special event even more unique!

Oh yeah…GO NINERS!!!

Ringy Dingy…

And a new decade begins, the new year starts, people throw out the old thems, promises fly unbounded of the new I’s. Typically I am working which at the moment means watching a dog, because I am great at calming them during fireworks and thunderstorms. Due to the emergency surgery and extended hospital stay, I ended up free for the night. Not having to work, I was thrilled to attend my girlfriend, Linda’s roaring 20’s party.

I got a call from Linda 2 months ago when I was headed home from physical therapy. She said she just left the doctor’s office and had been diagnosed with breast cancer. The only reason I was the first person she called was because I had beat cancer the year before. She trusted my reaction, I presume. There wasn’t a second I had ANY doubt she would make a full recovery. Linda had caught it early through a self examination. 6 months before they had given her a mammogram and she passed so this couldn’t be too advanced. From what she told me the location was the safest possible. I told her all these things with confidence and she felt ready to tell her family. I offered to join her, but my assurance was enough.

After being diagnosed with stage 1, she opted for a double mastectomy. After the surgery they found precancerous cells in the other breast so she was happy with her decision. Later this month she meets with the reconstruction surgeon and puts her body back together.

I just spent a week in the hospital myself after an intestinal blockage sent me into surgery the week before. No matter how shitty I felt with a big zipper of staples up my stomach, I was NOT going to miss her celebration New Years Party! So tonight we rang in the 20’s with hope for the future, and each other’s good health!

I was enjoying the many people coming and going!

I’m not making a resolution or a promise I have no intention of keeping like everyone I’ve ever met. I have done all that I wanted, checked every box on my bucket list, and all of my dreams. I’ve lived a dozen lifetimes, been through heaven and hell, and it’s a miracle I’m still here. I love my friends and family, the place I live, and all that I have! I only need to help others fight their battles, make treatment easier to get, and give them the strength they need to fight. I’m going to be the first to donate to my cause, Relay for Life, and start the year off right!

For all of you reading this, I hope you and yours have a great year, and I wish you all the best this decade!