Not mine, but worth repeating…

My buddy Gary nailed it! Only the guilty need feel guilty! Lessons to be learned by the wiser amongst us.
 The here are some thoughts that I would like to pass on to you to hopefully share with your friends and loved ones.
The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.
We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. Never spending enough time with God!
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.
We’ve learned how to make a living, but not a life. We’ve added years to life not life to years. We’ve been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We’ve done larger things, but not better things.
We’ve cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We’ve conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We’ve learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.
These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete.
Remember to spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.
Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.
Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn’t cost a cent. As the Good Book says, love your neighbor.
Remember, to say, ‘I love you’ to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.
Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.
Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.
And always remember, life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by those moments that take our breath away.
I hope that you enjoyed this and will take it to heart! Blessings, Gary

President Kennedy asked..

You know, so? What have you done for your country? Did you help? Did you volunteer? Did you give your hard earned money to a cause, hmm or a casino? This is your call to arms if you will listen. Be a part of the solution..we are all equal!

Hate begets more hate…pray for peace PLEASE! Let LOVE light up your life!!

As we..

Growing up we make choices that hopefully help us realize our desired fate.  Of course it rarely ends up the nice little package we envisioned.  Life is fleeting and our entitlement is MASSIVELY misguided.  I knew if i finished college, got a degree I could make more money. I’ve been a wild child, entrepreneur, gypsy all my life. I have needed help, asked for it, but never stopped trying to do great things.

I don’t care what, who, why, when or me I will treat you like a friend until you don’t reciprocate.  I smile in the Doc office,  pharmacy, store, office, and most of my friends would LOVE to give you smiles as well.

I have little hate anymore, because honestly it’s not worth my time.  My uncle molested me, my brother’s friends tried to rape me..Sean Cariaga FABULOUS introduction to high school boys.

I’m 45 now and I’m FAR from perfect. I hope I help people.  I pray that fear won’t hold me back.  For some stupid reason I have rejected technology advances.  All my life, and I have been losing my ass playing catch up.  The little girl inside is always trying to catch up because all she heard growing up was computer jargon.  I hated computers!

Only a few of you will understand..I longed for..

I wanted to hug my brother and my Mom.  I wanted to live peacefully, and here’s thing..


Quality people are precious!  Building a life is difficult.  I’m a white pretty 45 year old woman, and try as I might I can’t get a loan.  Covid19 has blown my business to pieces.

I took a shot. Life’s to short.  I won’t quit!

In  a GREAT turn..

..of events people are changing their stories to assimilate the new norm.  After parts of Seattle have fallen into lawless hands, Starbucks coffee is changing policy.  Now, instead of a uniform, workers can wear BLM tshirts.  Now appropriate uniforms are not required at work.  So if I go to work as a police officer wearing a sundress, that’s ok?  The gun belt doesn’t match my shoes so I MUST be being discriminated against.  If I walk down the street topless and get arrested it’s society’s fault I am discriminated against because I’m female.   Is it just women? Native Americans, Black Americans, Mexicans, Chinese (you know, those 3rd generations that thought COVID19 and spread it worldwide)?  Discrimination knows no bounds, and hate, fear is it’s fuel.

You don’t want police oppression and yet you break the law.  I don’t want speeding tickets, so I shouldn’t speed.  Ultimately, you must take responsibility for your actions!  All of them, good and bad.  Inciting change through tyranny and violence is a coup!  Oppression. 

Do you want to take the USA over? Do you think you can? Let me ask you this, what do you want to accomplish? Are people going to listen to George Floyd rap lyrics and charge ahead for your new deal? You made a splash, no doubt ! Well done! You’ve made people more afraid than ever. MLK knew this wasn’t the way. JFK knew better. Mother Teresa knew better.

I don’t wear a uniform at the moment, but I have worn several of them with pride. Ultimately, this placating thing will get old, because it’s FXCKED UP! You apply for a job, job has a dress code, you don’t like it, DON’T TAKE THE JOB!!! SMH!!!

Let’s be real rioters..

Cancer doesn’t control your life, but for me it’s a looming disaster that you have to brace for, every scan.  Radiation is the gift that keeps on giving. Millions go to the doctor for cancer and die. Is that FAIR?  I’m never going to be normal again.  Fair?

Protesters don’t want injustice. I get that. I don’t either.

I went to the Doctors for 6 months, and told them I had cancer. They ignored me. I had the best federal insurance. I can ONLY imagine what it’s like for others. I wonder why you can’t march in the streets for better health care, but no you want to rally behind a violent criminal for justice. Fine. Me, I’ve got bigger fish to fry !

I would love to see real change! No drug dealers spreading crime in your children’s lives. You want to police your neighborhoods..EXCELLENT! Who’s volunteering? Who is quitting their jobs to protect and convict the criminals in your streets? Who’s manning the jails? Who is going to be there? Who’s going to infiltrate your gangs and take them down? Rehabilitate? Council? Drug Test? Or are you going to storm the castle and live off of the tax dollars eating caviar, smoking cigars, and fxcking hookers with big butts? You tell me? M’fckers? Your music presents a real picture of how women will be treated!

Protesters don’t care if the sick get care! Go get high, loot, steal, vandalize, create your stupid gangs, deal drugs, and enforce the opinion others have, your low life fxcks! When you want to have a conversation about equality don’t do it through violence! How does that make you ANY better than the cops who murdered Floyd?  Your movies and music rarely show LOVE, peace, and understanding!  How do want to be treated fairly when you walk around calling each other niggas?  You belittle, kill, have gangs, chose violence and drugs and you think your problem is white privilege?  If you want REAL change, that starts at HOME!  You can do it through LOVE and conviction!

Hospital workers were afraid of covid, now they are afraid to get to thier night shifts from protesters. STOP making people afraid! STOP the pain! STOP the hurting! Peace be with you all! You invoke fear! How are you going to make that better? Then and ONLY then, when no one is AFRAID OF YOU will change your lives!

Mom wants to know why…

..fine let’s throw down. Your husband (stepdad) didn’t pay taxes for 3 years so you lost your house. (The place you bought after our Father died, and our HOME!) That place is worth 550k today. Mick found the five thousand each weekend to gamble in Vegas, but paying the bills is not a priority? Taking a minor to Vegas was GREAT plan. I was a kid in Circus Cirus getting busted for drinking a cocktail. GREAT IDEA!

Milton applied for 2 years behind your back to the Bass Pro Shop in Springfield. He bullied (your words) you into moving to Missouri. (A place you made him swear you wouldn’t have to live.) I told you how awful it was, you knew, and you still fell for his bullshit!

Mom, you swore you wouldn’t let him bully you into moving again! I believed you! Now off to Orlando you go. I would have believed if you were moving to Boca, Lauderdale, or Miami. The happy delusional bullshit about being able to walk around Disneyworld give me a fucking break. You can barely walk!

Meanwhile, back in Misery, he went and fished for hours on end with his horny brother leaving you alone with no regard to your happiness let alone your health…S.O.P. (biggest run on sentence EVER!!!!)

He bought 20,000 dollars in property behind your back while he bankrupted you. He got a pilot’s license when he turned 40 even thow you lost your first husband (my real Father) in a plane crash. He bought pot from your son before it was legal.

He broke almost EVERY vow. THEN you worked yourself next to death in Misery. 13 hour days in a cold dark computer room. Making you sick, depressed, and gorging on food.

CONGRATULATIONS Dad, Mom’s health is in sharp decline after working at your “dream job.” You’re sick with a heart condition and prostate cancer, but FABULOUS you can go on criuses. Pay for EVERYONE’S trip. The only way Mom can visit me is if I get married or have cancer. Can’t even fly here when I’m in the hospital for 7 days.

When I look at my BEAUTIFUL Mother I want to make her happy and see her healthy. I want the very best for her. Have you EVER wanted that for her, Daddy? Has he EVER put you first, Mom? One birthday, 60th. Not even once a year!

Side bar..

Mick, all Mom wanted was a nice weekend in CA for her 75th Birthday without your kin. You want a cruise in the Caribbean and you’re paying thousands for everyone. How about you put some money in a savings account. Make a truly grand gesture and put Mom ahead of your whims! Better yet, pay your wife ALL the money you lost? My guess is it’s in the 3 million dollar range.

I get that Amber is a priority, Mick. You must pay for your daughter, and you have. You’ve always put her first. Amber’s rent, car, education. Your first family will always be your priority.

I’m sure they need you. For those reading my blog for the first time, you might want to read other posts because this may not make sense. My Stepdad, ALWAYS gets what he wants. Missed his calling as a salesman. No doubt! I would LOVE to see Mom win one round!!


The only person Mick cares about is himself. He doesn’t care about You, Jeff, or Me, unless it suits his gratification.

He couldn’t take two days off and fly out to check to see I was ok? Not once? Really? I had to fly out see him after I almost died! I wanted to have a girls weekend in Laguna, but he had to come too, and turn it into his trip to see the guys. I distinctly remember we had to go to his wife’s house, and eat dinner at his daughter’s restaurant. The only person that is cared for in your marriage is Mick.

I’m over it! I’m sick and tired of him tearing us apart! Further and further you go. Less and less your son and I get to see you. Maybe he’ll let you visit once every 5 years. So probability wise i might see you 4 more times before you die. Guess I’ll keep my fingers crossed that you live that long. Hope it’s all you’ve ever wanted and are happier than you can stand. I LOVE you!

I didn’t know

I got home from camp and watched the news in horror. Rodney King all over again but now a movement of hate and violence EVERYWHERE.

You could have stood side by side, stormed the Capitols, written letters. VOTED!

A man (any color) committed a crime. He resisted and tried to evade a charge of using counterfeit money. The officer tackled him to the ground. The officer should have put his knee in the middle of his shoulder blades. The knee does slip, but the officer was trying to apprehend a criminal. S.O.P is to put the knee in between the shoulder blades.

The officer has been charged.


You stupid destructive rioters burning people’s business, livelihoods, streets, stores, ARE the cop that killed that criminal. You are tearing your towns asunder. Does that make you happy?

I am ashamed to be an American watching you TOTALLY disgrace this country! If you care write your elected officials. DO NOT DESTROY!!!!

I’ve been being a little bitch..

It’s true. Sorry. I know better, and have most my life. When a Director friend of mine asked me during the #metoo movement if I was going to call out a Producer who sexually assaulted me in 2002 I said no. He wasn’t even close to being the first. My responsibility is learning from the situation and moving on.

I recognize my posts of late have been profoundly negative, honest, but I’m not one to play the victim unless it’s on screen and I’m getting paid. Just isn’t me. I have no one to blame because while I can’t control what happens all the time I can control my reaction to it.

So, looking upward, I accept that I made critical errors with my companies because I didn’t diversify smartly. Believing the things I invested in would always be in demand was shortsighted, and trying to save the world one year into my budding company was knee jerk and arrogant. I thought once people saw that I could get the impossible I might be able to help massive amounts of people on a large scale.

I’m not saying the dream was too big, but the execution needed more than I gave. I accept that I have made mistakes and now I can correct them. If I give the power to my past, my family, my lack of funds, my health, the virus, the government, or anything else I’ve gone on about then I give that power over me and my capabilities! I will just have to learn from this and find a way to do it better!

Ok, so my goal of 100k by the end of the year may not come to fruition. My January goal was late by 3 months, BUT a little over one year ago I sat without 6 companies on disability making 15k a year. I could have continued that way. A recovering cancer patient, debt free, Andy’s Animals made 3k in 2018. I beat cancer, had 6 surgeries, 45 weeks of treatment, let’s face it my poor body had been through hell. I had every excuse NOT to do ANYTHING!

I chose to play a crazy hand, start a nonprofit, learn a new business I’d never heard of, reach out to strangers, join and participate in the community, get energized, pass it on, and it felt fucking GREAT!

I can’t promise that I won’t slip into wo is me moments, I’m human, but I know what to do when the ball is in my court! LET’S GO!!!


As restrictions are lifted and people return to work I wonder how?

2 main things I’m going to leave here.

1. With all schools out one parent will have to stay home. So, dual income homes will need to downsize. Let’s just say $90,000 a year each. One person out of the equation budget cut in half. Cut out one car immediately. Raise the food budget by two thirds because have to feed the rascals during the day.

2. How do you imagine the economy coming back? The airline industry has sunk. Very few feel comfortable getting back in the air. Tourism will be changed for many years to come.

The U.S. population bought into bullshit! Third world countries are in dire straits but we shouldn’t have shut down this country for a .00023 percent chance of death. A snake has a better chance of taking me down and I beat CANCER!

I’m sorry for the fear mongering sensationalism the hurt you business, family, and grand celebrations! This whole thing is BULLSHIT!!

Gosh aren’t we lucky that a landlord can’t legally evict? My friend is so happy that she can’t afford to pay rent and is harrassed daily. Has yet to receive ANY assistance, is scared because her place of employment is still closed. YIPPEE Good times. 🤬

I’ve taken enough of your time, sorry. Real people need real help.

I heard tonight they need masks in South America. I’ve gotten requests from the Philippines. I’ve shipped to Veteran’s Hospital’s, Cedars, nursing homes ect..

If someone wants to help me, financially I will get them anywhere you want! The stupid U.S. has probably spent a couple of million trying to get them and not delivered!

One of the greats. ..

In this script some iconic one liners were made.

“Just make it look like a football helmet.”

“It’s taym to see the Easter Bunny “

From beginning to end it was a magnificent script and a true stoy.

I could only beg to be this great. I’ve spent most of the day writing to a woman whose daughter is going through cancer. Her eyesight isn’t doing so well.

She has the love of her family and her Mom is by her side. I too was lucky to have my Mom during dark days.

I’d LOVE to give her my strength, but she said her daughter is the strongest person she knows. She’s correct. Real life isn’t easy. You can live your life, no doubt. I was working at a call center for 3 months while my bail bonds license was approved. A person who had years under his belt told me he liked not having to care.

I cannot live my life without care. I don’t work that way. May we all write the words that carry on!

You know I love you more than my luggage..