Yes my dear friends there’s no way to be something you’re not! You can play a part but living a lie only lasts so long unless you’re a sociopath. Sociopath GO AWAY!! Thank you.

Normal people welcome back. You can’t have a person who knows and loves you like a movie, (Pretty Woman). it happens all the time in Hollywood because they spend half of the time acting/ believing they are in love with someone else. I don’t understand why anyone thinks what the see on film is real.

I’ve seen living relationships that were so beautiful I cried and was lucky to see it’s light.

When you see it, really see it, you don’t covet. All I could think about is it’s beauty. Unfortunately I am in the minority.

So I say…STOP HATE! Only YOU can chose the path of peace!


The age old question in my world, every year was, “What do you want for Christmas?” For me, after preteen years, has been money. Help pay a bill, buy books, and get me through a crisis. I rarely found a better answer. Money’s good..I’ll put it where it needs to go.

The last 3 years when someone asks i feel tongue tied. This morning I looked at a beautiful new rifle. It is INCREDIBLE but the money could be used more productively. Hours later, after trying to reinforce my point I had to visually drive the point home.

My health is again in jeopardy and I need financial resources to fix it.

My best friend wants me to fly to Florida for her birthday in February, again I can’t and I end up feeling like I let her down. Then I feel like this present machine of America is churning the wrong direction.

Do I want to go to the beach in the middle of winter? DUH!

Do I want to spend time with Mom? DUH!

Do I want to see my Brother again? See him happy? DUH

Do I want to see Brandi in Birmingham? DUH

I would love to spend my every moment left with those I hold dear! I wish I could buy an island where we could all retire with the best medical EVER!

I would give my last breath to rid this world of cancer! I don’t know how give anymore.

I love, miss all my friends and family! I just can’t give anymore at the moment.

Wishing and wanting..tricky! Lonely too. People don’t like the word NO.

I hope we all find our perfect life. I wish I could be there, but it’s tricky. I always try. I know tomorrow could be the last breath. Tricky.

The sad thing is, until I was sick no one wanted to see me. I made the effort time and again but after thirteen years none of my friends or family made an attempt? Mickey, Dad, came to hunt elk once, my wedding once, but until I was sick not a soul.

The day of my brain surgery. I watched an amazing site. Mom flew in from Missouri, Husband showed up, and Brother appeared. No other way to say it ..FUCKING MIRACLE!!

Not brain surgery day but you get my point

We have a continent between us now. I know the momentary bond of my illness is gone and there’s no way to get it back. Clearly I only have the power of one. I can only afford so much. We ask for gifts for Christmas in America. We are TRAINED to do it! Tell Santa what you want! I pray for peace, health and love.

Some of the beautiful people in the world right now wish for a Bible over running water.. Tricky 🥺READ IT AGAIN!!!!

They pray for me..I’m so blessed 1🙏🏻

Hope you’re happy..

If Joe wins, congratulations to you all who voted for him. I hope you get all the “free” things you voted for. I wish the best of luck to all the small business, gun & land owners. When gas prices are soaring, taxes are high, you can’t afford the extras of life, look back & think how good the last 4 years were. You can hate Trump, but his policies helped this country.

The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. Most of the time it’s fertilized by 💩 So make sure you hug an oil worker today because they are worried sick if they will have a job in the next year.

I hope you look at our farmers, factories, & steal industries, because they will get shipped back to China.

Make sure you tell a solider thanks for serving this country because our military will be downsized & not get raises.

I don’t care if you agree with me or not. I wish the best for this country! I stand for the flag & kneel before God until my last breath.

I wish peace not war, but when you tread on my land & want to take my guns, you’ll have a fight. You can only rob the middle class so much before they break.

I will NOT argue, burn cities, loot, rob, or steal because my President didn’t win. I’ll go to work, pay taxes, and do what’s right. 🇺🇸 I won’t walk down the streets of D.C. with a vagina on my head!

Believing in freedom is what everyone wanted when the UNITED STATES was founded. If you want socialism..FUCKIN MOVE. Far away from ME!

OUR DUTY..don’t miss the ending!!!!

I think we need to thoroughly investigate what happened on election night in cities like Milwaukee, Detroit, Philadelphia, and Atlanta. People who say this election was definitely not stolen or rigged in any way have no idea what they are talking about right now. It should also be noted that people who say this election was definitely stolen also have no idea what they are talking about. The real truth is that none of us including Donald Trump know for sure what really happened yet.

The American people need to ultimately find out for themselves why the vote counting was suddenly halted in so many places on election night. Maybe the reasons for all of these sudden tabulation delays in only a handful of states where Donald Trump was leading were totally innocent. Maybe they weren’t so innocent. We need to learn for ourselves why so many officials who were legally allowed to monitor the vote counting were inexplicably turned away. Maybe there is a logical explanation why these vote counters did not want to be watched or monitored. Maybe there isn’t. We all need to find out precisely how many dead people voted in these precincts and how many illegal votes were ultimately counted. In summary, every American ultimately deserves to know the truth about this election… the real truth.

Any thorough investigation will probably take too long to determine the winner of this election. But whenever the actual truth about this ugly process eventually comes to light then every single American will need to make a decision.

It would be my personal recommendation that every single person who ultimately decides this election was rigged should quit being a productive citizen as much as possible for the next four years and simply live off the government. Every person who eventually decides that their voices were intentionally silenced this week should stop spending any extra money on anything beyond the absolute essentials and allow this broken system to collapse. They need to pull every single dime out of the stock market and watch it fall. Yes, this will be economically painful to a whole lot of innocent people but change of this enormous magnitude is always painful. This is the most effective way to peacefully protest against oppression and tyranny. If this election was stolen then we all need to stop participating in a process that is purposefully rigged against us. We are not cattle or sheep. We have our very own hopes and dreams. We get to decide the direction of this country. We should never allow ourselves to be herded in a specific ideological direction by an unaccountable ruling class.

Let me be perfectly clear. If Democrats actually won this election then we all need to respect the final result and work together for a brighter tomorrow. But if it is eventually proven by irrefutable data that Democrats actually stole this election then we all need to take a page out of their very own playbook.

I did not write this, but it’s certainly a better way than taking up arms and declaring war on one another! The truckers are planning a nationwide strike on November 29th. Hope you have your TP ready!

Year 3 cancer FREE, and yet..

3 year pet scan

Here is a list of SOME of the things I mean
Original painful biopsies
The removal of healthy teeth
Radiotherapy treatment
Major surgery
Skin grafts
Multiple visits to hospital
Multiple admissions to hospital
Multiple biopsies
Stitching and staples removal
Multiple infections

Pneumonia 11/2020

Burnt mouth
Multiple Hyperbaric treatment sessions

First PET scan

Phlegm problems
Facial swellings
Dramatic weight loss/gain

128 pounds

Loss of thyroid
Sore and swollen coccyx due to weight loss making it painful to sit on hard surfaces
Having to regularly apply cream to the coccyx
Profound tiredness
Profoundly dry mouth
Dry skin
Sleep disorder
Inability to eat normal foods
Inability to drink normal liquids
Having to eat puree foods
Having to drink thickened liquids
Having feeding tube fitted
Having to feed via a tube
Care for tube and stoma (hole in the stomach)
Inability to talk normally
Continuous speech therapy
Continued heavy, and changing medication
Continued face pain
Painful bone-nibbling procedures

2 months Hyperbaric chamber
Hair loss

Continued coldness (especially to the hands and feet)
Having to sleep on the left hand side only
Multiple MRI scans, x-rays, CT’s etc
Multiple investigations by camera via nose and throat
Recurring bouts of thrush
Difficulty washing face
Continued tingling and itching to right ear
Daily routines of intense oral hygiene procedures
Loss of concentration

It doesn’t end the day you ring the bell, and it reeks havoc on every waking moment the rest of your life.  Personal relationships will suffer and the people around you will suffer.  Whether you know it or not somedays you aren’t yourself.  Screaming at the world seems your only choice, but it hurts to scream.

After brain surgery

If you think it’s all gonna be ok when you say “cancer free” think again!

May never know…

When I see your black soul I pray for the loving light to fill may never know.

When you are down I send energy to help you rise…you may never know.

When others speak ill of you I praise your qualities…you may never know.

When disagreement turns to hate i wish happiness fills your may never know.

When i see your cup empty i try to fill may never know.

The reason you will never understand.. I love you

Only kindness matters..

Too important..

I spend a part of almost each day trying to offer some help to patients and survivors of cancer and aneurysms.  Reading this made me think of most of my conversations. You don’t need to be critically ill with some disease to have this feeling. You need to know, we ALL have this feeling!!!

For the exhausted woman who showers a few minutes longer to cry with the water…

For the woman hiding in the bathroom, because she needs a few minutes of tranquility while slipping tears from her eyes.

For the woman who is so tired that she feels she can’t continue, that she would give anything to feel like herself again…

For the woman who cries in her room when everyone leaves the house and for a moment she let’s go…

For the woman who desperately battles with self Confidence when wearing denim pants because she wants to look pretty and wear them to feel better but everything just climbs over or can’t close…

For the woman who orders pizza for dinner because she didn’t have the time to make dinner again as she expected… Because she’s tired.

For the woman who feels alone, even when she’s accompanied.You’re worth a lot.
You are important.
You are enough.
You are wonderful…
God loves you!
I love you…💯

Land of the free, is it?

The Trump supporters are the bravest Americans in the United States next to our first responders. Every day they put a sign out, put a sticker on their car, or wear an article of clothing they open themselves to hate, vandalism, and violence.

I listened to an African American Trump supporter and he says there are hundreds, but they can’t express themselves because of BLM and like minded haters. Expressing their beliefs is out of the question. He says these Trump supporters are Republican and Democrat, but they don’t blame the President for bad cops, school shootings, or covid. What they do know is Trump is trying to help them more than ANY other President! He’s given more opportunities to minorities through education and jobs!

I have a Trump hat that I would LOVE to wear. Each time I have to weight the pros and cons. Do I want to have someone spit in my face, refuse to serve, or worse hit me? WHEN did it become okay to instill the intimidation and fear the left does?

To the BRAVE, CORAGEOUS, TRUMP SUPPORTERS who want to drain the swamp and see a President fight for YOU, I COMMEND YOU! Let your flags fly!

I know and accept the fact that my house may be vandalized!
Exercising the right and freedom!

Biden Story

Here is a story you don’t want to miss.
Joe Biden and his first wife, Neilia, had three children: Hunter, Beau and Naomi.
In 1972, Neilia and Naomi, died in a car accident. Joe eventually married a woman named Jill (his current wife).
He already knew her because she had been Hunter’s babysitter at the time of the car accident. (Yeah, THAT seems normal- marry the babysitter). They had a daughter named Ashley. Ashley lives ‘a quiet life’ and is frequently in and out of rehab for various substance abuse issues.

Now sadly, the sanest, most normal one of the 3 surviving kids, Beau, dies in 2015 from a brain tumor. He had been married to Haillie and they had 2 children, a boy and a girl named Natalie, who was 11 yrs old when her dad died.

Enter Hunter Biden, in 2015, to “comfort” his brother’s widow. Mind you, Hunter is married at the time, to Kathleen Biden, since 1993. He starts screwing around with his dead brother’s wife in 2015…his wife Kathleen finds out about it and they separate. Hunter moves in with his dead brother’s wife, Haillie,and her two kids and they have a grand old time. He ultimately gets divorced from Kathleen in 2017. Meanwhile, he starts screwing around with a stripper, while still shacking up with his dead brother’s wife, before his divorce is finalized, and gets the stripper pregnant. Haillie kicks his butt to the curb supposedly for this indiscretion in 2018. He denies the stripper’s baby is his, although a paternity test proves otherwise and eventually he marries a woman named Melissa in 2019 after knowing her for 6 days…
Does the tale end there? Why no, no it doesn’t.
That just sets the stage…

Enter the laptop from hell…loaded with emails, text messages, photos, child pornography, videos, and other sordid digital images of drug use and rampant weirdness….
Hunter Biden dropped the laptop off in Delaware, his home state, to get it repaired. It seems he dropped it in some water while in a meth-induced state of mind. He then neglected to pay the $85.00 repair fee and the laptop became the repair shop owner’s property for non-payment. When the owner saw what was on it, he was ao disturbed that he contacted the FBI. No response. The DOJ? No response. Eventually, it landed in Rudy Giuliani’s possession and he turned it over to the Delaware State Police AFTER making 4 copies of the hard drive. Turns out, there’s quite a lot of child pornography on there…much of it involving children on Hunter’s many trips to China. The Chinese Communist Party uses this as a blackmail tactic… They supply the young girls, they film you, unknowingly, and then they can keep you “in line”, while paying you the big $$$ to do their bidding, like lucrative deals with your VP father.

Millions of dollars were paid to Hunter Biden for favors with the US Govt while Joe Biden was VP under Obama.
For 8 years Hunter made the contacts and split the money with his father, referred to as the “Big Guy” in all emails detailing how their ill gotten gains would be split up amongst all the criminals involved.

Joe Biden sold out his country and used his meth head son to do it. …
But, IT GETS WORSE. Today, on the laptop, emails were released between Beau Biden’s widow, Haillie, and Joe Biden in 2017 and more in 2018 when she and Hunter were still living together. They were casually talking about the continual “sexually inappropriate behavior” she had witnessed from Hunter toward her 14 year old daughter, Natalie, HIS NIECE!..
She told Joe that she felt she had put her children in a dangerous situation by getting involved with Hunter Biden. Joe knew his son was screwing around with his niece and he advised his daughter-in-law to go to therapy…..No one went to the police and the abuse escalated. THAT is the main reason she broke off her relationship with Hunter. Among the pictures of Hunter having sex with young Asian children, there were hundreds of provocative pictures of a 14 year old girl, mainly topless, and hundreds more of Hunter Biden, in sexual poses with her, HIS NIECE. She was 14 yrs old and HE WAS 48!!

Rocked me…

I was just walking to the mailbox.  I can’t remember exactly why this came out of my mouth, but ever since i said it, I’ve been holding back tears.  They needed to fall.  The stress has been unbearable the last few weeks and I have endured it as the trooper I am.  I need a cry.  I need Moonlight and Valentino but it’s in Alabama.  Yes, I’m avoiding this horrible thought,  I feel awful thinking it let alone repeating it, but it rocked me to my core.

Like a bandaid I’m going to rip it off…

“I hope my Mom dies before me so she won’t have to suffer the pain of losing a child. ”

We all know the natural order. Most of you know how sick I’ve been. I don’t want Mom to have to endure losing my life although she would do it well. I’d hate for her to feel that pain.

Night before my mouth surgery to get as much cancer as they could.

When they were prepping me for brain surgery I told the team, “Don’t worry about me dying D.N.R (DO NOT RESECITATE). I’ve lived an AWESOME life, but Mom’s in the waiting room and she’ll kill ya! RUN!” I can only imagine how afraid she was, and I was trying to make everything a joke.

Night before brain surgery

Her first husband died in an airplane crash and her best friend, my Godmother, lost her battle with cancer, I pray she doesn’t have to let her children go. She doesn’t deserve that! So, while I don’t want to lose Mom, I also don’t want her to lose me.

I’m trying to take her out on the town after surgery

I hope she doesn’t lose one of her children 🙏

True love may be hoping the pain lands on your shoulders, but I’m scared those shoulders won’t be mine.

I love you Mom!